Monday, April 21, 2008

The power of "no".

I work a fairly dull-ass job. So it gives me a lot of time to think and chew on things. It's not always the best thing in the world, especially since I have that...crying problem. But today I had one of those mini-epiphanies or maybe just a mental Post-It note reminder that it's okay to say no. It's okay to define my life the way I want to define my life. I don't need to do everything within my power to keep friends that do nothing to add to my life. It's okay to jettison people who are nothing but walking black holes or don't want the best for me. There's no reason to make myself crazy trying to make people like me.

Of course, we all want to be liked, but I think you kind of become a real adult when you realize it's fine to be not liked. Not everyone wants to be in your fan club and no matter how hard you try, they'll never sign up for a lifetime membership. And that's okay. That's life. The only way to make life livable is to shape it into the form you want it to be, and that includes realizing that there's nothing wrong with telling someone they can't be a part of it. It's just a matter of summoning up the courage to say no. Or no more.


Anonymous said...


this is Jenn, btw

Anonymous said...

I've been feeling some guilt about this actually. I have been slowly extricating myself from a group of friends that are nothing from drama... but now that I'm almost out I'm beginning to wonder whether it's me that is a drama queen.

Ruth said...

The best thing I ever did was let go of the 'friends' that weren't doing anything or my life.

It as hard, at first, but in time my life was a much happier, drama free zone.

I'm glad you've come to the same place.