No, not a blog break, just lazy.

Given that weeks tend to fly by between my blog postings, one could easily interpret my radio silence as being blog breaks...well, no. Back in the days of LiveJournal when it was fresh and new and you had to get a supersecret invite code and all that stuff, I would update that mother two, even three times a day. Now...now, it's like pulling teeth.

It's not that I don't have anything to say, but I'm a big fan of saying it only if no one else has covered it. And as of late, far better writers than I say it in such a more awesomey fashion.

For instance (oh yeah, it's shaping up to be a "let's link to other people's blog posts" kind of night)...the effervescent and all-around delightful Marianne Kirby at the Rotund. She rocked my athletic socks right the frig off my feet with her latest post - and it's one I'm keen to bookmark for future re-reads. It's something I try to remember when I get all fired up and clenchy about things - to me, as much as I personally am not down with dieting and all manner of gastric surgery, I have to be cool about people choosing those choices because I respect, above all things, body autonomy.

Where it gets muddy, though, is that more often than not, that respect for body autonomy is not returned. There are few things more irritating in my little world than being on the receiving end of Weight Loss Messiah-ing. I ditched a friendship because of it, and I damn near stopped talking to my sister because of it as well. And certainly society at large does NOT want you to make a choice that doesn't involve dieting for weight loss purposes or bariatric surgery. How often does Fat Acceptance get tagged as "giving up"? Like...constantly? Yet, inside my head, going back to my old habits of dieting and self-loathing and riding that unicycle of suck is my version of giving up.

I've got some horses I'd like to hop back upon - being more active is the main one. I've been doing a lot of thinking and mulling about my activity level, and I think one of the main reasons why I bailed on going to the gym (which I actually enjoyed - hopping on a machine hamster-style appealed to my love of routine) was that it fooled me, you see. When I was a regular gym goer, I was in Fat Acceptance Short Pants - I was in an internal war, torn between "I want to lose weight" and "I just want to be active and feeling good". I dropped some pounds and unfortunately, became entranced with that. And once I slammed up against that wall, like we all do, I stopped focusing on the "feeling good" and got mired in the "but why won't I lose any more weight" whining which led to "I don't feel like going to the gym/I'll go tomorrow/I'll go next week/I'll start up again on Monday/oh shit look my membership's expired". Now that my mind's far more aligned with where I need it to be, I find myself trapped in my personal routine and for those of you that are routine-minded as I am know damn well that breaking out of a routine is a gigantic pain in the ass. But perhaps, with this blog post, I will find the internal spark to find my way back to motivating my carcass hither and yon.

Or...I will continue to play Angry Birds until my pointer finger falls off. Yes, I KNOW the rest of the world totally knows about Angry Birds and playing Angry Birds. I'm the woman who is just figuring out Rick-Rolling, for Christ's sake. It's just...oh my stars, it's a festive little game. Perhaps I could do leg lifts while I'm playing it...well, if nothing else, I will have a most muscular pointer finger by the time I'm done with it. Read more on this article...

Goodbye, horse's ass.

To whatever hipster douchebag, horse's ass, and overall jackmonkey it may concern:

I sometimes wonder what goes through your head as you amble down the street, eyeballing the world and racking up your witty bon mots to share with your Facebook/Twitter/internet audience. Do you think you're this deeply intellectual observer of the human condition, compelled to lord over those in the world you believe to be limited in their capacity to understand the things you consider to be hallmarks of a truly evolved mind? Do you think you have unique, remarkable insight into the world and all its machinations? Do you think you're special?

The thing I love about you, hipster douchebag, is just how much you wallow in privilege and absolutely refuse to acknowledge one drop of it. You're the kind of d-bag that crabs and rags about the horrors of fat people but you hang out with your fat pal and don't consider hir to be "one of them". Your fat pal's one of the good ones, right, because ze puts up with your horseshit and hey, ze's on a diet for the umpteenth time so ze's trying, at least. You insist that everyone can afford to eat "healthy" and cut your eyes at the contents of fat people's grocery carts so you can feel superior about your basketful of organic bok choy. If you can afford it, everyone else can, right?

And by gum, you are going to make sure that every single person within reading or listening distance knows precisely how special you are at any given moment in time, how well you adhere to your assorted "healthy" routines and food choices and bask in the praise that always comes because people mistake food intake and activity levels and weight loss for virtue an awful lot these days. You're determined to be the Messiah amongst your loved ones when it comes to health, for you (and only you) have discovered the way, the truth, and the light. It's only because you care that you're commenting on what your friends and family choose to eat in your presence. You mean well. It's coming from a good place. Truly.

It's not necessary for you to be self-aware, H.D., because you're aware of ALL THINGS. You totes understand the assorted struggles that assorted people endure at any given moment because you read that one book once or saw a movie or watched a TV show about this thing in the middle of the night in a hotel room. Because of your learnings, it's super-okay for you to say insensitive, idiotic things and brand them as "controversial" or "politically incorrect" because you're just speaking the TRUTH in very bold, capital letters. People who might attempt to correct you are oversensitive and need to just get over whatever it is they need to get over and not take things so seriously, god.

It's just, you know, whatever. Read more on this article...